Creative Writing (fiction)

I've lost it all, myself... Everything I have no idea what I should do at this point, I'm at my breaking point and I'm ready to give up. I lay on my bed constantly thinking. It doesn't help on the feelings I have running around In my mind. I sit still on my bed with little clowns running in my head slowing me down keeping me afraid of what's real and what's not.. I'm stuck thinking, dreaming,  realizing that NOTHING lasts forever. Gone forever with no hope I sit in my room contemplating whether or not I should try or give up. There's strings attached to me keeping me from breaking free from my worsts fears. I dream of happiness but live in darkness. What's really keeping me from stepping out from the dark and entering the light? My heart? My soul? My life? My family? I haven't realized it yet. Stop.. My head is spinning I'm stuck in my thoughts. It's chasing me. I'm done. Enough I'm shot down, murdered. It's just a dream.. Right? My whole world ended when I needed the help to keep it together. It's falling a part help me stop it from crumbling. Guess not. Maybe I'm over exaggerating. I probably am but who knows. I'm broken. The thoughts I think keep me from pushing forward I'm stuck in the mind set of a person who's alone in a room isolated from the outside. I'm decaying like an abandoned house with no one to cater to it's every need. I want to be fixed, but who can fix me better than myself? So many questions unanswered yet the thoughts still linger in my mind. Break free they say, let them all know who you truly are. Break free? How can I do that without the missing key? Where's the door? Where's anything anymore? Maybe it's better to be isolated in this room.. Maybe I'm wrong. Who knows.